Starting over

So the past year of my life has been, to say the least, a roller coaster of emotions. I knew that once Shawn was put back in my life by God, that there was a plan in motion. Something was going to happen, or several somethings, and whether they would be good or not, had yet to be seen. I got a great job at Family Video, where they were willing to work with my fixed schedule from the Rec Center. They were also willing to allow me Sunday mornings off, since I have a 45 minute drive to and from my church. Point for the good side. Things started happening at my church. Such as, we are moving in a direction to reach outside of our four walls and grow our ministries. Another point for the good side. Everything was looking up! And then last Thursday we got the dreadful news and the Doctor used that awful C word. The cancer is more advanced and more aggressive this go-round. I broke into pieces with that news. It seems like after all the progress we made as a family through all of Dad's treatments and appointments, everything just started over and we were back where we started, except in a worse position this time. I don't know why this has happened to our family. I find myself asking that question a lot. Yesterday, I fasted. Hoping that through my sacrifice and prayers throughout the day, that an answer would be given to me. Of course, I'm not being patient with God, and until I am, He won't give me any answers. Even still, the question haunts me and looms over my head. I know that God is here, and I know that He has His arms around my family, but at times, it feels like that's not enough. I know He has the power to heal Dad and take away this suffering, but I can't wrap my head around why He won't.
In everything there is a reason. This I know, and have always known. One of the reasons that Shawn is back in my life is because God knew how much I would need the extra support through this time. I don't like God's plan sometimes. It kinda sucks, to be honest. But I know that if He leads us to it, He will lead us through it. And when we come out on the other side as stronger people, and as an even stronger family, we will know that it is good. Because God said it is.
Jeremiah 29:11- "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'"